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The 1998 Endicott Awards

Time: 05/03/98 12:13:44
Author: Jonah Cohen
Title of Post: It's Endy Night!

Comments:
"Good evening storyboard fans! I'm Brandy Fesh of Entertainment Ataniel, and we're coming to you with EA's annual Endicott Storyboard Awards Special! People all across Ataniel are brimming with excitement as this glamorous night brings together the storyboard's biggest stars!"

"This year, a trio of adventuring's biggest names will be hosting the awards - former Sunfighter Threnody, thrash-rock bard Trissia Maddyx, and adventurer/comic Schneider. This trio issued a brief press release saying that they were "looking forward to getting to review some really good posts!" Threnody has had a specially tailored silk tuxedo made for the evening, as sources say plenty of silver polish has been ordered for her prosthetic hook. Ms. Maddyx will reportedly be going with a black minidress, its poofy bottom specially tattered. The platinum blonde bard also is said to be sporting 5" stilleto heels sharpened to a point, and spiderweb stockings. Most shocking is that Schneider, sometimes known as the Scourge of All Fashion, will allegedly be dressing against type, sporting an expensive Armani tuxedo - in traditional black - the only odd touches being a yellow smiley face button pinned to one lapel, and red and green Christmas lights adorning his bow tie.

"Clothes are, of course, a huge part of Endy night, and we'll have more on that shortly from Mr. Blockhead, our special correspondent of fashion. But first this news brief:

"Rumors have sprung up that allegedly late witch Trillarillia Carraria will attend tonight's ceremony. Trill, best known for her role in the attack on Ataniel by Bane, was supposedly killed on the storyboard by Hell's Intendant Lilith, but several unconfirmed sources have reported seeing her today. More on this story as it develops.

"One group that will not be in attendance tonight are representatives of the Abyss. Leaders of those planes have organized a boycott of the Endy's, saying that the non-nomination of 'The Abyss Gazes Also' for best storyline, and the snub of Ailonwy for best villain and sexiest character represent a demonphobic prejudice. A spokesman for the Ataniel Storyboard academy denied these charges, noting that two of tonight's hosts have been possessed by demons.

"Perhaps the biggest and most anticipated pre-Endy party was the soiree held by the Rat Pack. The members of the storyboard's premiere adventurers gathered to meet the press, enjoy some hors d'oerves and toast the many nominations their members received. Arriving by Trade Carriage, leader Khyrisse Starshadow politely declined offers for valet parking, merely snapping her fingers to cause the magical coach to disappear. Fans throughout Ataniel have been watching the Rat Pack Party closely, eagerly waiting to see who would be arriving with whom, and who'd be wearing - or not wearing - what. With commentary on that, here's arch-designer Mr. Blockhead."

"Thank you, Brandy. It was a decidedly mixed bag of designerwear brought in by the Rat Pack, complete with a few surprises. The group was led in by their first couple, Khyrisse and Ebreth Tor. The elvin sorceress cut a stunning figure in her wine- colored, off-the-shoulder gown, wonderfully complimenting her swept back golden locks with a gold and garnet pin and ribbons. It looks like some fine haberdashers will be opening up in New Trade. Mr. Tor, seen here waving to fans, cast a fine formal figure in his navy dress uniform, complete with gold braids and buttons. Completing his formal yet almost rakish look is a folded back dress cloak. Bravo to them both!

"The next couple to arrive, the subject of much speculation, was Victoria Dare and Amatsu Mikaboshi. Dare did a nice job of sporting the classic little black dress, given a sassy touch with the ankle straps on her shoes. But what is with that strange NY cap? And what is the 'Derek Jeter Fan Club' referenced on a pin on said hat? I didn't really like Amatsu's attire either. Going for the Kevin Spacey look, he showed up in a black suit, black shirt, no tie, black trenchcoat and sunglasses that surely make it impossible for him to see. Who is he supposed to be? A professional hitman?

"Also disappointing was another much-ballyhooed couple, Valende and her escort, Jack Paris. For a guy who comes from a rich family, Mr. Paris looks mighty ill at ease in a tux. Memo to Jack: stop fidgeting with your collar and stop walking like your clothes have been overly starched. Valende is seen here in a shimmering green number, complete with fluted hem and plunging neckline. If the pastel colors of her dress and the pink rosebuds in her hair are meant to soften up her image, it's not working. I will give credit to Mr. Paris' other companion - the Rat, who arrived on his shoulder in a smashing little collar and bowtie. Well done, Mr. Rat!

"Here's a pair sure to raise eyebrows. Vastarin arriving in an elegant tuxedo, his hair worn loose, and causing much swooning in the female storyboard fans in attendance. With him is young Mina Paris, in a wide-strapped black evening dress. Her blue crystal earings and butterfly necklace probably won't attract much attention, given how much cleavage she's displaying. Good for her! I say, if you've got it, flaunt it.

"Rani arrives in a high-necked, black and silver dress - but, geez, couldn't she remove those crimson leather gauntlets for the occasion? I'll say this, her perfectly wavy silver hair will certainly be the best at the ceremony, but surely she's destroying the ozone layer in getting it to behave so well. She was, uh, trailed in by Marty Hu, in a sky blue tux and a shirt so frilly I think I saw it first on 'Seinfeld.' Nuff said.

"A couple direct from fashion Hell was Fred and Janice. Wake-up call to Fred: use less mouse on your fur, and your claws and horns don't match. The perfect partner in the pit fiend's butchery of good taste is Janice, in a hot pink flapper dress with fringes, a tie-dyed scarf and pink mules with matching barrettes. Memo to Janice: choose one decade, already!

"Rounding out the group were its junior members, Kit and Skitch, clad in identical boys tuxedos. Unimaginative, but not too bad, except for the gauntlets Kit was wearing. Hint to Kit: wait til puberty when your hands will get bigger, those things look ready to fall off.

"And now, for a live report from the Rat Pack party, let's go to on site correspondent, S-Guy!"

"Hi everybody! Ataniel is a land plagued by the rotten-cottage-cheese stench of evil, and I'm here at a pre-Endy party with the world's leading can of Lysol, the Rat Pack! RP leader Khyrisse, you've been nominated for several Endy's tonight, how do you like your chances?"

"Well, S-Guy, I'm just proud of the whole family here. It's nice to know that all the efforts of all of those who made our adventures possible are being rec---"

"Spiffy! Mr. Tor, is it true that you'll be starring in the new series of Star Wars films?"

"That's still under negotiation."

"Didn't you piss off Lucasfilms with your criticism of changes made for last year's Special Edition rereleases?"

"No comment."

"Look who's here! It's darling couple Mina Paris and Vastarin! Vas, Mina, there are many questions the public wants to know about the two of you: will you two ever ride the wild Zerrthimon? How are you affected by the relationship your family members are having? Are you bound by a common interest in magic? But I'll forego those queries in favor of a far weightier one: Geez, how'd your eyes get so huge? They're, like, tremendous!!!"

"We've got Rings of Anime Anatomy."

"And speaking of the Paris family, here's the masterly matamatician Jack Paris and the decapitator of the undead, Valende!"

"Uh, hi."

"Jack, will you stop fidgeting?"

"As another Endy-nominated couple, what do you think the future holds for you?"

"Well, Chaos theory dictates that it is impossible to predict certain parameters beyond a general spec---"

"That's great! Perhaps any wedding bells in the future?"

"Uh..."

"Um..."

"*Squeak*"

"Hello, Rat! Congratulations on being the first rodent in Endicott history to be nominated for both best PC and MVP."

"Thank you!"

"You're welcome! To what do you attribute your success?"

"Uh, I'd better translate, S-Guy... Rat says teamwork."

"What about rumors in the tabloids linking you to a nubile young mouse?"

"He says-- Rat! You can't say that in front of a worldwide television audience!"

"And there you have it, Brandy! Straight from the Rat's mouth!"

"Thank you, S-Guy. I must say, it seems that perhaps a little tension is weighing on Jack Paris and Valende. No doubt nerves over the awrds. The stars continue to arrive for the Endy ceremony. Just moments ago, a small Sway reunion was held as the first couple of Shikintu, Praxis and Inez Jardin, arrived, as did Maxwell Silverhammer and his current flame, Valleri. Silverhammer was dressed in a tuxedo that seemed barely able to contain his famous physique, while his date was the picture of elegance in a blue, Cinderella-style ball gown, hair gorgeously upswept. Jardin arrived in a red silk dress and wearing the famous emerald and jade Amulet of the Dragon. Bucking tradition, Praxis arrived not in black tie but a double-breasted gray wool suit, with a blue, tan and gold tie. Our special reporter, Jose Chung was there with this interview:"

Chung: Mr. Silverhammer, I'm sure the public wants to know - why are you carrying a large black sword?
Max: Long story, Jose. You probably wouldn't believe it.
Chung: Oh, you'd be surprised. Will you be playing a more active role on the storyboard in 1998?
Max: We'll see. I'm just here tonight to honor my nominated friends.
Chung: Ms. Jardin, your appearance in "The Omeria Agenda" was part of a double nominated storyline.
Inez: Yes, Jose. It was a pleasure to work with all the people who made that story possible. It was a part that just couldn't be turned down.
Chung: Any comment on the rumored appearance of Trillarillia Carraria at tonight's event?
Max: Couldn't be true!
Praxis: I hope.
Signet: Well, I've got a comment--
Chung: Signet the Significant! Where did you come from?
Signet: I'm here to tell you about my latest literary masterpiece, "A Return to Significance." available now at a bookstore near you! and-- hey!
Valleri: Where'd that glowing ball come from?
Signet: Just my girlfriend calling. Whoah! Seeya later!
Chung: Now back to you, Brandy.


"Thank you, Jose. In other news, security will be tight at tonight's ceremony. Death threats have been received by co-host Schneider. Anonymous sources claim that notorious monster gang the Creature Commandoids have been hired as an extra precaution. The Ataniel Storyboard Academy had no comment.

"In a press conference earlier today, the reporters were enamored by the charm and wit of Endicott nominee Asinus Paris. Here are some excerpts from that conference with the well groomed and outspoken donkey:

Reporter: Mr. Paris, would winning an Endy be one of your greatest accomplishments?
Paris: Oh, sure. Every storyboard character dreams of doing that someday. But when you get to be as old as I am, eating solid food is something of an accomplishment.
(laughter) Reporter: You helped contribute to the nominated ending of the "Hell and Back" storyline. Was it tough, negotiating with an arch-devil like Mephistopholes?
Paris: Mind if I light up? Thanks. Sure, Mephy is a pro. He's a sharp devil. But I gotta tell you, son, my ex-wife was a lot tougher.
Reporter: Any predictions as to the best character winner tonight?
Paris: Well, I've got a soft spot for Khyrisse, of course, but they're all worthy nominees. My nephew, of course, is a top-notch kid. He's a Paris! Tor had a good year, that new oriental kid seems cool, the little Rat is good stuff too. The RP is a fine bunch, sparky.


"At one point, Paris was asked if he was the father of Khyrisse Starshadow's child. Paris answered 'no comment,' then smiled."

"We'll be back with more pre-Endicott coverage, after this message from your local station."

Endicott Award

Time: 05/03/98 18:29:31
Author: Jonah Cohen
Title of Post: The Endicott Pre-Ceremony Special, Part 2

Comments:
"Welcome back to Entertainment Ataniel's annual Endicott Awards Special! I'm your host, Brandy Fesh. The stars of the storyboard, continue to arrive, delighting fans worldwide and dazzling photographers. Just moments ago, cheers greeted went up as a dimensional rift opened outside the awards pavilion and out stepped Enigma leaders Warp and Kyria Vesper. Their team, Enigma III, is nominated for an Endy for Best Non-Ataniel Creation. Warp, a storyboard veteran, is seen here is his black and white dress costume and, of course, designer Ray-Bans. Miss Vesper appeared in a backless black evening dress and elbow-length black silk gloves, sporting an elegant flip in her hair. The future Sunfighter had this exchange with the press upon arrival:

Reporter: Miss Vesper! Are you and Mr. Warp dating?
Kyria: Why - were you asking me out, sir?
Reporter: Uh, well, uh, no, I, um, didn't mean it like---
Kyria: Crud! And I really have a weakness for the fourth estate. Oh well, let's go, chief.
Warp: Don't call me chief.


"Updating our top story, allegedly dead witch Trillarillia Carraria will allegedly be attending the Endy's tonight. For a live report, here's correspondent Chaim the Cherald:"

"Oy gevalt! She's here! It's over, people! IT'S ALL OVER!!!"

"Thank you, Chaim. One of the most stiking, best dressed, and downright evil couples in Ataniel just arrived, inspiring a frenzy among photographers. Let's go live to Jose Chung."

"Thank you, Brandy. Unh, I've managed to squeeze through the crowd to get an interview with Lilith, Intendant of Hell, and the ever witty Geryon. Snazzy looking white tux, Geryon."

"Thank you, Jose. I got a homicidal fashion designer transfered out of the Pit of Tony Danza Show Reruns just to get it made."

"How do you do that cat thing with your eyes? Is it related to the alien seen in 'Piper Maru/Apocrypha'?"

"Ha ha! No, not at all."

"Intendant, a pleasure to meet you. And might I say you look stunning in that lovely dress of --- is that really made of fire?"

"Yes, it is. Thank you."

"Will you be, uh, lobbying on behalf of any Endicott nominees in return for their souls?"

"Ha ha! Oh, I can't say. I'm just glad we don't have to tally the votes."

"You had a busy year. The storyline 'Hell and Back' is nominated twice tonight, and produced some very dramatic moments."

"We're all very proud of that plotline down in Hell. And I have to say, I think we did pretty well. I mean, the Rat Pack came to our domain with two members in Hell, they only got one out, so we still ended up with three."

"Uh, right. You also became one of the most beloved figures in Ataniel by killing Trill this year on the storyboard. Do you believe she's really back and at tonight's event?"

"Ha! Jah, right. And I won't be playing Dissect-the-Liver with Jerry Springer."

"Now over to my fellow correspondent, S-Guy."

"Many thanks, Jose. I'm here with the couple who is to Diaria what chicken soup is to Campbell's, Shilree and Anjra!"

"...I'm telling you, you're certain to win. Don't worry, schmoopie. Oh! Uh, greetings, kiljahc."

"Hello, Shilree. EA reporter S-Guy. I have to say, nice togas!"

"These are not togas, you masked buffoon. These are traditional Diarian robes, worn by our people since before you apes learned to zip up your flies."

"No zipper on these pants, ma'am - they're Spandex! Which, is actually a bit of a hassle at times.... but anyway, I was going to say how much I like the coordinated outfits. Shilree, you've got the black one and the purple headband that matches your hair, Anjra, yours are both white - matching that french braid and that big ole silver necklace. That's keen! I tried to get Enigma to do the coordinated uniform thing, but Manstalker said he wouldn't trust my fashion sense in, like, a zillion years."

"Gee, honey-bunch, maybe I should've hired this Manstalker guy instead of---"

"It's oviously been a busy year for Diaria, and looks to be an even busier one ahead. You've got an uncertain situation with Shadow. You've got a serial killer after you, and another killer working for you, sort of. You've got sleezy businessmen trying to bilk you and a possible showdown with a psycho, other worldly twin. So --- any comments on the cancellation of 'Ellen?'"

"Fool! We do not need such tripe! Diarian television is the best television in the whole world!"

"But there's one thing Diaria doesn't have - and that's my new book, 'A Return to Significance!' Buy it, and be sure to watch for Significant Institute professor Marvelous appearing this year in the 'Lianth Shrugged' plotline!"

"C'mon, Glub. Let's go."

"Hi, Waterloo. The pink + white baby-doll look, it's you!"

"Thanks, S-fella, seeya later at Spago's."

"Thank you for those reports. I'm Brandy Fesh. The storyboard celebrities continue to arrive. Here we see Lora Paris stepping forward to greet fans, clad in a black muslin dress with train. And there's her brother Asinus, passing out cigars. I wonder which plotline they're hoping will take home the Endy, eh? And in some of the most expensive looking outfits of the evening, and certainly the most blatant displays of PDA, there's undead bard Kieran Talbot and Mithril Dagger Hero Tila. With her stylized hair and spectacular forest green dress with keyhole neckline, Tila is as ever a fashion trendsetter. At how does Talbot do it? On him, even that frilly tuxedo blouse looks incredibly sexy. God, I'd like to just rip off my clothes and shout 'Take me, you ghostly stud! Take---' Uh, sorry.

"Let's, um, get a live report now from the Oppressed Informant. Informant, you are aware of who will win each Endicott awward tonight, yes?"

"I am not a liberty to say, Miss Fesh."

"And what about persistant but unconfirmed sightings of Trillarillia Carraria?"

"That information is classified."

"Thank you, Oppressed Informant. Now to our consultant, the man who always wears a tux, the Flautist, with some more of tonight's nominees."

"Yes, good evening, Miss Fesh. It is my duty to be here with MVP nominee Flicker and his companion, Kala."

"That's Kayla, sir."

"Yes, whatever. Mr. Flicker, I see you have come tonight wearing khaki pants and a... sweater. My question is: are you attending an awards ceremony, or a dinner theatre production of Cats?"

"Well, I..."

"And Miss Kayla, did you perchance bring that pencil stuck behind your ear because you were planning on doing the TV Guide crossword during the ceremony?"

"No, I just..."

"I can't see how---"

"But you can see how a code of morality helped defeat Bane in my new book, 'A Return to Significance,' also available in audiobook form, read by George Clooney!"

"C'mon Glub, it's almost time for the show. Kayla - don't listen to the stiff. Teal is totally your color, you look great!"

"Thanks, 'Loo. That peekaboo look is gonna have guys drooling for you, too."

"Thanks. And speaking of dressed to kill - let's go to S-Guy with Luthien and Rhynwa!"

"Well said, Waterloo. I'm here with Ataniel's most devoted death duo. Mr. Luthien, I've never seen all all black tuxedo before. And Miss Rhynwa - looking good in the sleeveless n' slinky style. Love that top hat! More superheroes should wear hats. But what's that gold thingee on your arm?"

"It's the symbol of Arawn."

"I see. Mr Luthien, you fought with yourself more often than Cybil during last year's Skein's of Fate storyline! What was that like?"

"It wasn't easy. Although Luthien the Dead was of course a separate character, I often had to play both parts during the combat sequences of the Skeins. That was a tricky special effects process. It took weeks to post."

"Miss Rhynwa, people are no doubt wondering what will occur in the coming year in your new Necropolis storyline. But there's something else I'd like to ask: will you be rooting for your old BFH teammate Ariath tonight?"

"Ariath?!?! rrrrrrRRRAAAARRRRGH!!!!!"

"No! Put down the scythe, ma'am!"

........

...........

"I'm Brandy Fesh, and it appears as though our correspondent S-Guy has turned to stone. So let's go elsewhere for an interview conducted by Tobrinel councilman Theodore Knight."

"Greetings, I'm here with two members of the Tobrinese cabinet - Ariath and Marhault, plus noted Tobrinel socialite Silverlace, and her companion, Kynvelyn. Ariath, I note that you lovely backless dress is a cardinal velvet, the same as your tie and cumberbund, Mr. Marhault. Are you two trying to anounce a romantic liason?"

"Haha! Oh, not really, Mr. Knight. We think of each other more as... family."

"Your dress, is it a Versace?"

"Actually it's a Cunannan."

"Well, you appeared in some of the most dramatic posts on the storyboard this year, garnering multiple nominations in a plethora of categories."

"Thank you, I couldn't have done it without the support of my friends in Bloodscar, the help of the Rat Pack, and my agent - love ya, Morty! It's just nice to be back from a forgotten limbo and into the spotlight again. Know what I mean, Mr. Knight?"

"I certainly do. Silverlace, congratulations on your role in 'The Dead College,' co-starring with best villain nominee Beliath, and with William Endicott himself, for whom tonight's awards are named."

"I'd just like to say - Bill and I are only friends. And I'd like to thank Miss wang for designing this lavender chiffon number especially for moi. You're the best.""

"Kynvelyn, tell us about the Endy nominated running gag from 'We'll Always Have Paris.' I note you're going with the naval look in your breeches and open-necked pirate shirt. What was it like, as you and longtime partner Fleegle ate human brains?"

"Well, first, I've always thought of Fleegle as more of a sidekick than a partner. No, make that more of a nuisance. Anyhow, the brain sequences were painstaking to post. The director made us do about a million different takes before posting the finals, everything had to be perfect and >just so.< We had to specially make the gelatin that was used for the brains each day. It was always "ok, another shot of you eating the brains... now a close up of your mouth as you chew... now do one where the brains run down your chin... now one with uglier Remnants in the background... now redo the shot of you puking... now do that filmed from below looking towards the falling vomit... I tell you, Barre is more grueling to work for than Cameron!"

"Thank you for that report, Ted. It's almost time. At 8:00pm EST the annual Endicott Storyboard Awards ceremony will begin. I'm Brandy Fesh, thanks for watching!"

Endicott Award

Time: 05/04/98 00:09:22
Character(s): William Endicott, President of the Ataniel Academy
Author: Douglass Barre
Title of Post: ENDYS: Introduction

Comments:

As the doors close and the lights go down, a solitary figure dressed in a conservative tuxedo walks up to the center of the stage. Many of you recognize him as William Endicott, one-time reporter for the Trade News and a member of the counter-shadow group "Quatro".

He taps the microphone on his lapel.

"I'd like to thank you all for coming here tonight, to the First Annual Ataniel Storyboard Awards, held in the spacious Anita Tuvin Schlecter Auditorium. Those seats swivel, by the way. Anyhow, we here at the Awards Central hope that this will be but the first in a long line of awards given out for merit in writing, acting and general excellence in supporting the world of Ataniel.

"The storyboard was created as a way of opening our world up, opening it to new stories that might not otherwise be told, and opening it to new people, new ideas... even new wacky misadventures. I found myself paired up with a courtesan in a plot to impersonate dead villains. Others found themselves dealing with rats and cats and horses... a veritable menagerie. Still others were tossed through time and space. The borders of the imaginations of the people here tonight are endless, and it is here that we hope to honor them.

"I'm not much for speeches, preferring the written word, so I'll turn you over to your hosts who are likely to be a lot more entertaining than myself. Without further ado, fresh from their satellite headquarters, I give you the team of Threnody, Schneider and Trissia! Let the ceremonies begin!"

On to Act 2

Endicott Award

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