|Time: 05/03/98 18:29:31
Author: Jonah Cohen
Title of Post: The Endicott Pre-Ceremony Special, Part 2
"Welcome back to Entertainment Ataniel's annual Endicott Awards Special!
I'm your host, Brandy Fesh. The stars of the storyboard, continue to
arrive, delighting fans worldwide and dazzling photographers. Just
moments ago, cheers greeted went up as a dimensional rift opened outside
the awards pavilion and out stepped Enigma leaders Warp and Kyria Vesper.
Their team, Enigma III, is nominated for an Endy for Best Non-Ataniel
Creation. Warp, a storyboard veteran, is seen here is his black and white
dress costume and, of course, designer Ray-Bans. Miss Vesper appeared in
a backless black evening dress and elbow-length black silk gloves,
sporting an elegant flip in her hair. The future Sunfighter had this
exchange with the press upon arrival:
Reporter: Miss Vesper! Are you and Mr. Warp dating?
Kyria: Why - were you asking me out, sir?
Reporter: Uh, well, uh, no, I, um, didn't mean it like---
Kyria: Crud! And I really have a weakness for the fourth estate. Oh well,
let's go, chief.
Warp: Don't call me chief.
"Updating our top story, allegedly dead witch Trillarillia Carraria will
allegedly be attending the Endy's tonight. For a live report, here's
correspondent Chaim the Cherald:"
"Oy gevalt! She's here! It's over, people! IT'S ALL OVER!!!"
"Thank you, Chaim. One of the most stiking, best dressed, and downright
evil couples in Ataniel just arrived, inspiring a frenzy among
photographers. Let's go live to Jose Chung."
"Thank you, Brandy. Unh, I've managed to squeeze through the crowd to get
an interview with Lilith, Intendant of Hell, and the ever witty Geryon.
Snazzy looking white tux, Geryon."
"Thank you, Jose. I got a homicidal fashion designer transfered out of
the Pit of Tony Danza Show Reruns just to get it made."
"How do you do that cat thing with your eyes? Is it related to the alien
seen in 'Piper Maru/Apocrypha'?"
"Ha ha! No, not at all."
"Intendant, a pleasure to meet you. And might I say you look stunning in
that lovely dress of --- is that really made of fire?"
"Yes, it is. Thank you."
"Will you be, uh, lobbying on behalf of any Endicott nominees in return
for their souls?"
"Ha ha! Oh, I can't say. I'm just glad we don't have to tally the votes."
"You had a busy year. The storyline 'Hell and Back' is nominated twice
tonight, and produced some very dramatic moments."
"We're all very proud of that plotline down in Hell. And I have to say, I
think we did pretty well. I mean, the Rat Pack came to our domain with
two members in Hell, they only got one out, so we still ended up with
"Uh, right. You also became one of the most beloved figures in Ataniel by
killing Trill this year on the storyboard. Do you believe she's really
back and at tonight's event?"
"Ha! Jah, right. And I won't be playing Dissect-the-Liver with Jerry
"Now over to my fellow correspondent, S-Guy."
"Many thanks, Jose. I'm here with the couple who is to Diaria what
chicken soup is to Campbell's, Shilree and Anjra!"
"...I'm telling you, you're certain to win. Don't worry, schmoopie. Oh!
Uh, greetings, kiljahc."
"Hello, Shilree. EA reporter S-Guy. I have to say, nice togas!"
"These are not togas, you masked buffoon. These are traditional Diarian
robes, worn by our people since before you apes learned to zip up your
"No zipper on these pants, ma'am - they're Spandex! Which, is actually a
bit of a hassle at times.... but anyway, I was going to say how much I
like the coordinated outfits. Shilree, you've got the black one and the
purple headband that matches your hair, Anjra, yours are both white -
matching that french braid and that big ole silver necklace. That's keen!
I tried to get Enigma to do the coordinated uniform thing, but Manstalker
said he wouldn't trust my fashion sense in, like, a zillion years."
"Gee, honey-bunch, maybe I should've hired this Manstalker guy instead
"It's oviously been a busy year for Diaria, and looks to be an even
busier one ahead. You've got an uncertain situation with Shadow. You've
got a serial killer after you, and another killer working for you, sort
of. You've got sleezy businessmen trying to bilk you and a possible
showdown with a psycho, other worldly twin. So --- any comments on the
cancellation of 'Ellen?'"
"Fool! We do not need such tripe! Diarian television is the best
television in the whole world!"
"But there's one thing Diaria doesn't have - and that's my new book, 'A
Return to Significance!' Buy it, and be sure to watch for Significant
Institute professor Marvelous appearing this year in the 'Lianth
"C'mon, Glub. Let's go."
"Hi, Waterloo. The pink + white baby-doll look, it's you!"
"Thanks, S-fella, seeya later at Spago's."
"Thank you for those reports. I'm Brandy Fesh. The storyboard celebrities
continue to arrive. Here we see Lora Paris stepping forward to greet
fans, clad in a black muslin dress with train. And there's her brother
Asinus, passing out cigars. I wonder which plotline they're hoping will
take home the Endy, eh? And in some of the most expensive looking outfits
of the evening, and certainly the most blatant displays of PDA, there's
undead bard Kieran Talbot and Mithril Dagger Hero Tila. With her stylized
hair and spectacular forest green dress with keyhole neckline, Tila is as
ever a fashion trendsetter. At how does Talbot do it? On him, even that
frilly tuxedo blouse looks incredibly sexy. God, I'd like to just rip off
my clothes and shout 'Take me, you ghostly stud! Take---' Uh, sorry.
"Let's, um, get a live report now from the Oppressed Informant.
Informant, you are aware of who will win each Endicott awward tonight,
"I am not a liberty to say, Miss Fesh."
"And what about persistant but unconfirmed sightings of Trillarillia
"That information is classified."
"Thank you, Oppressed Informant. Now to our consultant, the man who
always wears a tux, the Flautist, with some more of tonight's nominees."
"Yes, good evening, Miss Fesh. It is my duty to be here with MVP nominee
Flicker and his companion, Kala."
"That's Kayla, sir."
"Yes, whatever. Mr. Flicker, I see you have come tonight wearing khaki
pants and a... sweater. My question is: are you attending an awards
ceremony, or a dinner theatre production of Cats?"
"And Miss Kayla, did you perchance bring that pencil stuck behind your
ear because you were planning on doing the TV Guide crossword during the
"No, I just..."
"I can't see how---"
"But you can see how a code of morality helped defeat Bane in my new
book, 'A Return to Significance,' also available in audiobook form, read
by George Clooney!"
"C'mon Glub, it's almost time for the show. Kayla - don't listen to the
stiff. Teal is totally your color, you look great!"
"Thanks, 'Loo. That peekaboo look is gonna have guys drooling for you,
"Thanks. And speaking of dressed to kill - let's go to S-Guy with Luthien
"Well said, Waterloo. I'm here with Ataniel's most devoted death duo. Mr.
Luthien, I've never seen all all black tuxedo before. And Miss Rhynwa -
looking good in the sleeveless n' slinky style. Love that top hat! More
superheroes should wear hats. But what's that gold thingee on your arm?"
"It's the symbol of Arawn."
"I see. Mr Luthien, you fought with yourself more often than Cybil during
last year's Skein's of Fate storyline! What was that like?"
"It wasn't easy. Although Luthien the Dead was of course a separate
character, I often had to play both parts during the combat sequences of
the Skeins. That was a tricky special effects process. It took weeks to
"Miss Rhynwa, people are no doubt wondering what will occur in the coming
year in your new Necropolis storyline. But there's something else I'd
like to ask: will you be rooting for your old BFH teammate Ariath
"No! Put down the scythe, ma'am!"
"I'm Brandy Fesh, and it appears as though our correspondent S-Guy has
turned to stone. So let's go elsewhere for an interview conducted by
Tobrinel councilman Theodore Knight."
"Greetings, I'm here with two members of the Tobrinese cabinet - Ariath
and Marhault, plus noted Tobrinel socialite Silverlace, and her
companion, Kynvelyn. Ariath, I note that you lovely backless dress is a
cardinal velvet, the same as your tie and cumberbund, Mr. Marhault. Are
you two trying to anounce a romantic liason?"
"Haha! Oh, not really, Mr. Knight. We think of each other more as...
"Your dress, is it a Versace?"
"Actually it's a Cunannan."
"Well, you appeared in some of the most dramatic posts on the storyboard
this year, garnering multiple nominations in a plethora of categories."
"Thank you, I couldn't have done it without the support of my friends in
Bloodscar, the help of the Rat Pack, and my agent - love ya, Morty! It's
just nice to be back from a forgotten limbo and into the spotlight again.
Know what I mean, Mr. Knight?"
"I certainly do. Silverlace, congratulations on your role in 'The Dead
College,' co-starring with best villain nominee Beliath, and with William
Endicott himself, for whom tonight's awards are named."
"I'd just like to say - Bill and I are only friends. And I'd like to
thank Miss wang for designing this lavender chiffon number especially for
moi. You're the best.""
"Kynvelyn, tell us about the Endy nominated running gag from 'We'll
Always Have Paris.' I note you're going with the naval look in your
breeches and open-necked pirate shirt. What was it like, as you and
longtime partner Fleegle ate human brains?"
"Well, first, I've always thought of Fleegle as more of a sidekick than a
partner. No, make that more of a nuisance. Anyhow, the brain sequences
were painstaking to post. The director made us do about a million
different takes before posting the finals, everything had to be perfect
and >just so.< We had to specially make the gelatin that was used for the
brains each day. It was always "ok, another shot of you eating the
brains... now a close up of your mouth as you chew... now do one where
the brains run down your chin... now one with uglier Remnants in the
background... now redo the shot of you puking... now do that filmed from
below looking towards the falling vomit... I tell you, Barre is more
grueling to work for than Cameron!"
"Thank you for that report, Ted. It's almost time. At 8:00pm EST the
annual Endicott Storyboard Awards ceremony will begin. I'm Brandy Fesh,
thanks for watching!"