Table of Contents
TOP TEN WAYS TO RELIEVE THE TENSION WHEN AN EVIL ARCH-VILLAIN ASKS YOU
TO JOIN HIM FOR FOOD OR DRINKS
- 10. Talk with your mouth full.
- 9. Inquire about his children. If he doesn't have any, inquire
about them anyway, and then say "Oh, you mean she didn't tell you?"
- 8. Interrupt him every time he talks about his evil plots to
ask him to pass some food or refresh your drink.
- 7. Ask for a crazy straw. If he doesn't have one, ask what the
point is in being an evil arch-villain if you can't have crazy straws.
- 6. Spout communist idealogy at him.
- 5. Play drinking games: every time he laughs evilly, says the
words "kill", "die", or "destroy", or says anything about conquering the
world, your entire party should whoop and take a drink.
- 4. Ask for a kosher meal.
- 3. While he is in the process of explaining his plan for world
domination, shout "Poison!" and slump over on the table.
- 2. Eat a mozzarella stick. Wind the cheese around your tongue.
Look directly at him. See if you can distract him.
- 1. Sit down, put your fingers together, and say "I'm sure you're
wondering why we've called you here today." Laugh in a sinister way.
(By Laura Redish)
Native American culture today
Native American child
Map of Illinois