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'Does the moon look bigger to you tonight?'

The Book of Ataniel

Rimbor City: The Return Of The Soulless Man

In which our heroes, abducted by Duke St. Augustine, narrowly escape brainwashing, and Palmer Khan achieves infamy by pushing an unarmed lab assistant down a flight of stairs, killing her...

'Does the moon look bigger to you tonight?'

"DON'T THROW DORITOS!"
-- Schneider and Tila (you dirty couch stealers)

"MY puny mortal tongue can do ANYTHING. I have a VERY talented tongue."
-- Tila

"He was SO dead...!"
"He was DEAD, DEAD, DEAD!"

"WE'RE NUMBER ONE! WE'RE NUMBER ONE!!"
-- the Sewer Tourists (being impudent on the Island)

""God says hi."
-- Rhynwa (to Luthien)

"MAGNATE THE UBIQUITOUS."
-- the Dougmaster

"He has a thing about young men."

"Oh god, he's a nutzoid, let's go find somebody else."
-- Tila

"Is everybody here as wasted as you?"

"There is no Number One but ourselves."
"I LIKE that philosophy."
-- Number Six and Luthien

"No man is an island..."
"...only a long peninsula."
-- Number Six and Tila

"We will be here, because we have no social lives whatsoever."
-- People without a life, much less a name, on the Island

"Wannabe an otter?"

"Before you go in-- DRAMATIC PAUSE!"
-- the Dougmaster

"I didn't hear you. I'm not listening to you. I'm wise."
-- Luthien

"It's MELVYN!"
"No, NOT the Soulless Bear, IT IS NOT MELVYN!"
-- Max and Khyrisse

"Excuse me, Laura, I'm going to have to kill you now!"
-- the Dougmaster (re Laura's guess of Oethnar for the Soulless Man)

"We were told by someone who is not an island..."

"Oh, art schmart."
-- Tila

"Can I hit him?"
"Feel free."
"I WOULDN'T ADVISE IT."
-- Luthien, Khyrisse and Max

"He has a rather high wisdom."
"TWENTY-FIVE, in fact!"
-- the Dougmaster and Schneider

"Death is good. Death is healthy. And these people need a lot of physical therapy."
-- Luthien

"Back-tickle him!"
"SAVE VERSUS TICKLING!"

"Fantastic fingers!! --but I can't get a date..."
-- Tila

"I have Herbalism. JUST AS GOOD!"
-- Luthien

"If HE can do a Cantrip, I most CERTAINLY can do a Cantrip."
-- Luthien (re Schneider's cantrip abilities)

"No, the way to do it is this: 'May you die a virgin!' "
"MAY YOUR SEX BE RETROACTIVELY RECALLED!"
-- Schneider and Tila

"Like, I'm going scoping for stones!"

"And it's MONSTER-time, in fact!"
-- the Dougmaster (who sounded entirely too gleeful)

"Ah, but the thieves lasted the longest..."
"Only because you were at the BACK OF THE PARTY!"
-- Schneider and Rhynwa

"Oethnar, you CREEP, GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY GIRLFRIEND!"
-- Max (re Khyrisse's impending demise-- again!)

"Oh, pain in my ass..."
-- Tila

"I'm busy humming 'Burn, Baby, Burn'."

"Try to stem-stab!"

"Survey says--"
"AAAIEEH!"
-- the Sewer Tour/Family Feud crossover

"I make sure you're not a lameoid. They don't want lameoids in their group."
-- Tila

"Random scribe sessions ensue!"
-- Max

"I GET UPSET."
-- Luthien

"Oh, you scratched me, you BAD boy."
-- Max

"This is the first time in any game that someone has toasted the floor!"
"THE FLOOR IS TOAST!!"

"I'm warning you, this finger's loaded."
-- Schneider

"Chastise me later."
"Chastise or CHESTISE?"
"Whatever."
-- Luthien and Rhynwa

"I'm the ANTI-MAX!"
"WHO'S the Anti-Max?"
-- Schneider and Luthien

"WOW! A match made in Hell."
-- Tila

"HEY! A REAL-LIFE SITUATION!!"

"That's a BIG toast!"

"Shocking Grasp... Electrical Sex?"

"What kind of save do these fucks HAVE??!"
-- Rhynwa

"This is the die that John built. This is the die that somebody LOADED that John built. This is the weight INSIDE of the die that somebody loaded that John built. This is the number ACROSS from the weight inside of the die..."

"It's his dandruff shampoo."

"I knock the cigar out of Ben's mouth."
-- Luthien

"I miss wildly..."
-- Rhynwa

"LAB WUSS! LAB WUSS!!"

"Grab her, look into her eyes, tell her 'You're the only woman I will ever love!', and KISS her."
-- Tila (instructions to Palmer re poor Patty Spivot)

"Palmer, you murderer of innocent women!"
"Did you defile her body?"
-- the Dougmaster and Tila

"GRIMFEEB!"
--(re Schneider's sense of humor being taken away)

"Like Dick Clark?"
"Exactly."
"Dick Clark is one of the damned."
"SO AM I."
-- Luthien and Khyrisse

"That's like pushing a defenceless woman down the stairs!"

"The battle's over..."
"CONGRATULATIONS. NOW GET ME OUT OF THIS FUNKIN' HOLE."
-- Luthien and Max (!)

"Great. Now he's become a REAL NPC."

"She's an elf. She's flexible."
-- Luthien

"Jesters without senses of humor become POLITICIANS."
-- Luthien

"YOU HAVE THE WILLPOWER OF A PILE OF JELLO."
-- Rhynwa (to Schneider)

"I'LL HIT SOMEONE AND GET BETTER."
"Oh, stop it."
"Well, it's TRUE."
-- Luthien and Rhynwa

Book of Ataniel

(Quotes from Jonah Cohen's notes... forgive the Schneidercentricity. :-)

Sewer Tour Cast:
Jonah as Schneider, smart-alecky jester
Evan as Luthien, crabby necromancer
Alyssa as Rhynwa, priestess of death
Laura as Janther, demonically possessed ranger
Kay as Tila, love-starved thief
Scott as Max, nice-guy hero
Ed as Palmer, reckless ex-gladiator
Kris as Khyrisse, high-strung elven sorceress
Doug as Dungeonmaster and everyone else

History

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'Does the moon look bigger to you tonight?'

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