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'Does the moon look bigger to you tonight?'

The Book of Ataniel

They Might Be Giants

In which our heroes defeat Gnartriech and his evil junta to make peace with the Giants...

'Does the moon look bigger to you tonight?'

"I'm the HEALTHIEST PERSON HERE??!"
"Well, not MENTALLY..."
-- Luthien and Schneider

"FEEBS? Or THIEVES?"
"FEEBS. You CAN'T be thieves, otherwise you'd have figured out how to open the DOOR."
-- Schneider and Luthien

"Okay, now that the lameness is over, can we go through the door?"
-- Janther

" 'MALCAR REQUIRES A HUMANOID HOST.' "

"AAAAAAH! GODDAMN FLAVORICE!!"
-- Alyssa, sitting on something unexpectedly cold

"Toto, I don't think we're in Dalencia anymore..."
-- Max

"So we're not lost, we just don't know where we are."
-- Schneider

"Hopefully, NOT all at once, they're REALLY big, WHERE'S Arawn gonna put 'em."
"CONDOS."
-- Rhynwa and Luthien discussing killing off the giants

"Sure! He's an NPC, what do we care?"
-- Schneider

"You don't GET healing, 'cause you're not HERE!"
-- Luthien (to the absent/evilly late Palmer)

"Take 84 points of damage."
-- Tila (upon Palmer's arrival)

"Thank you, you large mortals, you."
-- Rhynwa to the giants

"Oh, great. He's got a messiah complex."
-- Janther

"He's a computer language demon?"
-- Laura on Algol Demonstar

"They'll cast spells and I'll just heal them as we go. 'Boom! BOOM! BOOM! --HEAL!!! Boom! BOOM! BOOM! --HEAL!!!"
-- Rhynwa

"SPOT THE LEEEEEEEEEZARD!"
--Everybody, eventually

"Doug, draw me over by the lizard!!!"
-- Laura, excited by Janther's new pet

"...And Spots bites his knees."
-- Janther, commenting a fight between the party's new fire-lizard mascot and a giant

"Swing, and MISS!"
"THANK YOU, PHIL RIZZUDO."
-- Schneider and Luthien

"I am--"
"Tila?"
"--not moving yet..."
--Evan and the Dougmaster

"You critically tumble!"
"You tumble and you LOOK GOOD DOING it."
"For one round, everyone stops and goes 'OOOOOOH...!' "
-- Palmer, the Dougmaster and Rhynwa re: Luthien

"Venting my tickle-tortured rage onto Virgin..."
"Oh, THAT sounds good..."
-- Alyssa and Evan

"Luthien as Schneider?... 'LAUGH OR I'LL KILL YOU.' "
"This crowd is really dead. Soon to be REALLY, REALLY dead."
-- Luthien and Schneider

"Well-whapped!"
-- the Dougmaster

"Come on! The night's still young-- we've got PLENTY of time!"
-- Janther

"Do you mean to say there might be giants?"
"I HIT HIM."
-- Schneider and Luthien

"Why did you come here?"
"Because we're STUPID..."
-- Gnartriech and Rhynwa

"I REALLY DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT'S GOING ON HERE."
-- Rhynwa (Clear the detonation area!)

"I do not feel the childish need to tell you my plans before I kill you."
"Hey, WAIT a minute, I thought this was a comics scenario!"
-- Gnartriech and Janther (the soon to be once again Giant Killer)

"I flail wildly--"
"BUT STYLISHLY!"
"--at Gnartriech."
-- Rhynwa and Schneider/Luthien, in chorus (!)

"Please make the side of my head stop gushing blood. Thank you, Lord..."
-- Astilla

"--doing... enough damage to keep him from breathing again..."
-- the Dougmaster

"But Remove Curse is beyond her limits... as a worshipper of Newell..."
--Doug, on Astilla

"I LIKE MY SPELLS. I LIKE MY DICE."
-- Luthien (Luthien's addended philosophy)

"Guys, do you really want him to come back and stomp on us?"
"Yeah, sure. Why not?"
--Schneider and Luthien

"Leave the jokes to the professional in the party, Max."
"I would, if we had one!"
-- Schneider and Max

"What was that for?"
"You were cringing before. I couldn't get a hit in."
-- Max and Luthien

"We're gonna do the Slam Dance of Sardonic Delight."
-- Luthien

"Oh, TRY IT, furball."

"Whenever someone says 'Heal! Heal!', does Noyarc walk over to them?"
--Schneider

"You should all be shot..."
-- the Dougmaster

"You wake up in the morning and things are morningful."
-- the Dougmaster

"From what I've heard, Shilree doesn't sound like a FLOWER type of lady-- although, mabye death has mellowed her out."
-- Schneider

"Anyone have 'Cure Feeb'?"

"He may be a feeb, but he's OUR feeb!"
--(regarding the arrest of Javere)

"Again? What is this, a monopoly?"

"It definitely doesn't SMELL like a sewage treatment plant."
"How many sewage treatment plants have you been in?"
-- Janther and Luthien

"Mabye he's doing a villainous monologue."
-- Luthien

"There are other considerations than stopping the war-- although I suppose that's important..."
-- Luthien

"Newell can SIT ON MY SPEAR and SPIN. REAL FAST."
-- Luthien

"I'M ONLY DOING IT THAT SLOWLY FOR DRAMATIC PURPOSES!"
-- the Dougmaster

"I don't wanna kill you... I'm just gonna hurt you."
-- Rhynwa

"God, cast it on ME! What are you doing wasting it on our enemies?!!"
-- Rhynwa (to Schneider re the Lust Mask)

"I have herbalism. YOU WANT WEIRD CHEMICAL CONCOCTIONS? I CAN GET YOU WEIRD CHEMICAL CONCOCTIONS..."
-- Luthien

"Astilla is actually kicking some minor ass today!"

"We will take you before the King. FOR QUESTIONING."

"You know, those things are a dime a dozen!"
--(those STUPID blue stones!)

"Boy, can he take down a hefty amount of alcohol!"
--(re Finn Mac Finn)

"Sweetheart, PLEASE don't be prophetic when Mommy's upset."
-- Rhynwa (to Gdeon)

"Are you REALLY curious about what happens when you're dead?"
-- Luthien (re everyone's hounding Gdeon after his spontaneous resurrection)

"Gdeon, are you going to grow any more before dinner?"
"I don't PLAN to..."
-- Rhynwa and Gdeon

"All of a sudden, Finn starts talking like a DM!"

"I've never actually HAD a zombie."
"Like we believe THAT."
-- Luthien and everyone

"FEEBS KILLING FEEBS!"
--(Javere did WHAT?)

"They have feeb gods!"
-- Rhynwa

"Geez, are you saying that Shilree actually did something wonderful for us?"
"NO. Just Jeff."
-- Schneider and the Dougmaster

Book of Ataniel

(Quotes from Jonah Cohen's notes... forgive the Schneidercentricity. :-)

Sewer Tour Cast:
Jonah as Schneider, smart-alecky jester
Evan as Luthien, crabby necromancer
Alyssa as Rhynwa, priestess of death
Laura as Janther, demonically possessed ranger
Kay as Tila, love-starved thief
Scott as Max, nice-guy hero
Ed as Palmer, reckless ex-gladiator
Kris as Khyrisse, high-strung elven sorceress
Doug as Dungeonmaster and everyone else

History

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'Does the moon look bigger to you tonight?'

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