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Malcar Wars: Spirit In The Sky/Maximum Force

In which our heroes infiltrate the castle of Max's evil father Malcar Death Scar and battle the Ravagers...

"Look, everybody, I got five points of damage..."

"Look, everybody, I'm a MORON...!"

-- Max and Luthien

"Should we pull the lever?"

"Move back, let a professional do this."

-- Schneider and Luthien

"I critically tumble."

-- Palmer

"But if we disappear, somebody's got to be left behind to SEE us disappear!"

"ALL RIGHT. THE COMIC READERS SEE US DISAPPEAR."

-- Palmer and Luthien

"Malcar, you will be sued to DEATH! You'll die. And I'll get all the money."

-- Max, failing his taunting roll

"Do you know what pain feels like? Do you WANT to know what pain feels like?"

-- Luthien

"Hey, we can all get matching armor out of this."

"You're assuming we'll survive."

"SHUT UP."

-- Luthien and Schneider

"Ahhhh, all you mages with no hit points..."

-- Rhynwa

"OH. HE'S MUMRAH."

-- Luthien, unimpressed with Malcar

"We need room for the motion lines when we swing our weapons. Stop talking."

-- Luthien

" 'Can I borrow the castle, Dad?' "

-- Max

" 'Hey, Max, it's your dad come to pick you up. Can you give us a ride?' "

-- Luthien

"I'm not a bitch. I'm sedate. I'm good in bed."

-- Rhynwa

"You need to be more careful."

"WHY?"

"'Cause you're, like, Rhynwa, and you're important."

-- Rhynwa and Luthien bonding

"A blustering butch bitch."

-- the Dougmaster

"Slash his kneecaps off, by God..."

-- Luthien

"Too many bonuses..."

-- Max

"Max minned!"

"Rhynwa, you take *some outrageous number* points of damage."

"BULLSHIT."

"No. Really."

-- the Dougmaster and Alyssa

"I look at her and say "WUSS! WUSS!!' "

-- Rhynwa

" 'INCITE ORGASM'!"

"Well, there wouldn't be much fighting going on, with everyone on the ground going 'OH! OHHH!'..."

"ED... SMITE HIM."

-- Luthien

"Vengeance is mine, sayeth the DM."

"He's pretty darn dead."

-- the Dougmaster

"DIBS ON THE CASTLE!"

-- Max

"Honor, schmonor. We're GLADIATORS."

-- Luthien

(Quotes from Jonah Cohen's notes... forgive the Schneidercentricity. :-)