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'Does the moon look bigger to you tonight?'

The Book of Ataniel

Malcar Wars: Spirit In The Sky/Maximum Force

In which our heroes infiltrate the castle of Max's evil father Malcar Death Scar and battle the Ravagers...

'Does the moon look bigger to you tonight?'

"Look, everybody, I got five points of damage..."
"Look, everybody, I'm a MORON...!"
-- Max and Luthien

"Should we pull the lever?"
"Move back, let a professional do this."
-- Schneider and Luthien

"I critically tumble."
-- Palmer

"But if we disappear, somebody's got to be left behind to SEE us disappear!"
"ALL RIGHT. THE COMIC READERS SEE US DISAPPEAR."
-- Palmer and Luthien

"Malcar, you will be sued to DEATH! You'll die. And I'll get all the money."
-- Max, failing his taunting roll

"Do you know what pain feels like? Do you WANT to know what pain feels like?"
-- Luthien

"Hey, we can all get matching armor out of this."
"You're assuming we'll survive."
"SHUT UP."
-- Luthien and Schneider

"Ahhhh, all you mages with no hit points..."
-- Rhynwa

"OH. HE'S MUMRAH."
-- Luthien, unimpressed with Malcar

"We need room for the motion lines when we swing our weapons. Stop talking."
-- Luthien

" 'Can I borrow the castle, Dad?' "
-- Max

" 'Hey, Max, it's your dad come to pick you up. Can you give us a ride?' "
-- Luthien

"I'm not a bitch. I'm sedate. I'm good in bed."
-- Rhynwa

"You need to be more careful."
"WHY?"
"'Cause you're, like, Rhynwa, and you're important."
-- Rhynwa and Luthien bonding

"A blustering butch bitch."
-- the Dougmaster

"Slash his kneecaps off, by God..."
-- Luthien

"Too many bonuses..."
-- Max

"Max minned!"

"Rhynwa, you take *some outrageous number* points of damage."
"BULLSHIT."
"No. Really."
-- the Dougmaster and Alyssa

"I look at her and say "WUSS! WUSS!!' "
-- Rhynwa

" 'INCITE ORGASM'!"
"Well, there wouldn't be much fighting going on, with everyone on the ground going 'OH! OHHH!'..."

"ED... SMITE HIM."
-- Luthien

"Vengeance is mine, sayeth the DM."

"He's pretty darn dead."
-- the Dougmaster

"DIBS ON THE CASTLE!"
-- Max

"Honor, schmonor. We're GLADIATORS."
-- Luthien

Book of Ataniel

(Quotes from Jonah Cohen's notes... forgive the Schneidercentricity. :-)

Sewer Tour Cast:
Jonah as Schneider, smart-alecky jester
Evan as Luthien, crabby necromancer
Alyssa as Rhynwa, priestess of death
Laura as Janther, demonically possessed ranger
Kay as Tila, love-starved thief
Scott as Max, nice-guy hero
Ed as Palmer, reckless ex-gladiator
Kris as Khyrisse, high-strung elven sorceress
Doug as Dungeonmaster and everyone else

History

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'Does the moon look bigger to you tonight?'

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