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'Does the moon look bigger to you tonight?'

The Book of Ataniel

Tila Vs. Gila/Reign Of The Iron Tyrants

In which our heroes travel to the dimension of the evil Iron Tyrants, and Max is mind-controlled into killing his girlfriend Khyrisse...

'Does the moon look bigger to you tonight?'

“I’ve been PINGED!”
-- Khyrisse

“I AM DEAD! I AM SO DEAD!!”
“I AM SORRY! I AM SO SORRY!!”
-- Khyrisse and Max

“She was Stoneskinned right before she died.”
“That sounds kind of redundant...”
-- the Dougmaster and Luthien

“Why is he laughing?”
“He’s going into hysterics.”
-- Janther and Rhynwa

“I’m DEAD!”
“You’ll get BETTER!!”
-- Khyrisse and Luthien

“Don’t worry, Max. If we can’t get her back, you can go join her!”
“Oh, yeah, get him SUICIDAL now!!”
-- Rhynwa and Luthien

THE BUTTERFLY HAS LANDED.”
-- Luthien, announcing Khyri's resurrection

“I’m sorry...”
“DON’T touch me!”
-- Max and a still-miffed Khyrisse

“No, it’s his natural alignment.”

“After she defiled her, we REFILED her.”
“We refiled her under ‘D’ for ‘Dead’.”
-- Luthien and Tila

“ ‘I’m not really back-stabbing you, I’m looking for the ladies’ room!’ ”
-- Janther inventing excuses for Tila

“He’s going to suck my brain!”
-- Tila

“Just wait. The gods collect taxes, too.”
“And you should see the tax on bad karma.”
-- Luthien and Rhynwa

“Stop playing with your rope in times of trouble!”
-- Luthien to Palmer

“Yeah, it’s okay! I’m still standing!”
-- Janther, after taking some stupid amount of damage

“I got a one.”
“I got a rock.”
-- Max and Khyrisse

“It’s an equal opportunity twelve.”
-- Max

“The resistance is too high, the capacitance is too low... and it would be silly.”
-- Rhynwa

“Perfect unconsciousness. See how relaxing perfection can be?”
-- Luthien

“I sure hope he doesn’t meet up with a MIME flayer.”

“No thanks. I have enough problems with God as it is.”
-- Rhynwa

“ 'This is your brain. This is your brain on psionics.' ”
-- Palmer

“I plan on getting a new proficiency. ‘Quantum Mechanics’.”
-- Luthien

“WHAT WOULD MAGNATE GIVE FOR THIS?”
-- Luthien

“I LIKE a lot of light. Light is my FRIEND. Light is NOT HIS friend.”
-- Luthien

“My sheepie friends!”
-- the Sheepherder

“In the religion of Arawn, we create life the old-fashioned way. WE GET LAID.”
-- Schneider

“ 'Arawn has left the building!' ”

“DO NOT PASS GO, GO DIRECTLY TO LAWFUL EVIL.”
-- Max

“ ‘Dispel Palmer’! MAKE HIM GO AWAY!!”
-- Max

“Palmer-- SHUTTHEFUCKUP.”
-- Luthien

“Even better, a cyclops!”
“PRIVATE EYE!”
-- Max and Janther

“Why are you attacking my-- GOOD MOVE!”
-- Palmer

“Palmer, kill.”
-- Luthien

“I’m down to my maximum. AFTER TAKING DAMAGE!”
-- Luthien

“Can I sheep them in this field?”
-- the Sheepherder

Book of Ataniel

(Quotes from Jonah Cohen's notes... forgive the Schneidercentricity. :-)

Sewer Tour Cast:
Jonah as Schneider, smart-alecky jester
Evan as Luthien, crabby necromancer
Alyssa as Rhynwa, priestess of death
Laura as Janther, demonically possessed ranger
Kay as Tila, love-starved thief
Scott as Max, nice-guy hero
Ed as Palmer, reckless ex-gladiator
Kris as Khyrisse, high-strung elven sorceress
Doug as Dungeonmaster and everyone else

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