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'Does the moon look bigger to you tonight?'

The Book of Ataniel

Renegade



Rani blinked several times at the boy, who smirked back. �Kill you,� she said. �Kill... Tucson? That�s my temptation?� She shook her head dizzily. �No... this doesn�t add up. If I killed him, someone else would just take his place. His death wouldn�t free Rimbor any more than St. Augustine�s did.�

�Probably not,� agreed Johnny.

�Well fuck me, Johnny, I�m not selling my soul to the dark side to accomplish something pointless. You gotta offer me something better than that if you want some evil.�

�I ain�t gotta do nothin�, Rani, except stand here and get whacked if that�s what you�re gonna do. My death isn�t your reward, it�s your sacrifice. Kill me... if you can. Kill our childhood, and what was innocent about us; kill me, trap yourself in this moment, and go do your Batman thing. Go on.�

�Fuck this,� she said, after a few beats. �I am not killing a nine-year-old.�

�Then spare me,� shrugged Johnny, �and reclaim your old ideals. It's all the same to me.�

�No,� she said. �The world�s not as goddamn simple as all that. Maybe I want to turn to the dark side but I don�t want to kill a little boy. Did you ever think about that? Maybe I want to turn to the dark side but I don�t want to do it now. Or maybe I want to be a hero but I�m not ready yet. Not everything fits into this binary, yes-no kind of format.�

�I�m afraid you�re ready by definition, Rani,� he said quietly, in a voice that was no more than half a child�s. �You may not have wanted to choose your path yet, but here you have come, and choose it you must.�

�No,� she shouted. �This is idiotic. I refuse.�

�You can�t leave here without choosing, Rani.�

�Watch me.� She took a deep breath, and plunged through the brick wall of the alley and into the ether of the Hotel.

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'Does the moon look bigger to you tonight?'

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