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'Does the moon look bigger to you tonight?'

The Book of Ataniel

Become You



�This is the most fucked-up place I�ve ever been,� Rani muttered. �Okay, I think I�ve got someb-- oh, dammit, it�s Hu again.�

�It�s who?� said Marty eagerly.

�You, dorkboy.� The paladin�s right hand waved at him, and he screamed and tried to hide behind Mina. �Lemme try again.�

�I thought you couldn�t psionically control other people,� frowned Mina, an uncharacteristic wariness in her large blue eyes.

�I only wish.� Rani concentrated, a thin trickle of sweat running down her face. �No, I can physically meld into things I touch, and then I can move �em around like any other part of my body. In here it�s like I�m fucking touching everything anyway, so I can make contact remotely if I can isolate what I�m looking for in my mind. That�s how I found him in the first place.�

�That would suggest the Hotel is some sort of mysto-spatial nexus,� mused the young sorceress. �Existing outside of physical reality the way the Time Dome exists outside of temporality, maybe?�

�You�re asking me? How about we call it the nexus of Pain In Rani�s Ass?�

�Whoa,� said Marty, �so wait, are you saying my hand is, like, part of you now?�

�This does not mean we�re dating, Marty.�

�No,� he said, �I mean are you, like, possessing me? Because I told you I was immune to that back in the Remnant plot. Remember?�

�Yeah, I wouldn�t want to screw up the continuity or anything,� Rani sighed. �I�m not possessing anyone. Can we get back to the plot?�

�Trying to use your psychometric powers to locate our missing friends,� Mina reminded.

�Oh yeah.� Rani concentrated again. �All right, how about I�m perpetually horny, I�m a decent person and I�m extremely dangerous but I like to pretend I�m neither, and I don�t really give a crap about anyone who isn�t related to me.� The room started to distort weirdly. �Oh, except for Khyrisse, who I�m still secretly in love with.� The distortion resolved itself with a snap into a baroque ballroom. Rani leaned heavily into the crushed-velvet wall, catching her breath from the exertion of it, as the nobleman on his way down the stairs came to a startled stop. �Well, there you are!� he said, in a disconcertingly familiar voice. �Where the hell did the rest of the troops go?�

�Uncle Asinus?� gasped Mina.

�What�s the matter, kid, you never seen a man with a mustache before?�

�You look like a middle-aged queen,� wheezed Rani.

�Bite me, chippie.� The ex-donkey lit himself a new cigar, grinning. She was only half-joking; his slightly graying chest hair was visible through the deep v of his Tobrinese leisure shirt. �So does somebody have a plan, or are we winging this one too?�

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'Does the moon look bigger to you tonight?'

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