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In an e-mail long ago, in a mailbox far far away, one of Newell's poor victims accused the God of Convenient Plot Developments of, yea verily, tormenting his players. The victim had the audacity to complain that not ONE of his PCs were allowed to have even an occasional moment of happiness, unless it were shortly to be ruined by sudden catastrophe. Newell replied:
DOUG: Yeah, like that would be fun to play.
SUNNY: What a nice day!
SIGNET: Sure is. Let's go do something!
KEROUAC: How about having a tea party?
SHILREE: Oh, how fun!
RHYNWA: Do lets!
SIGNET: Hey, is that a demon coming up the path?
FARAKER: No, no, it's our good friend Trilly! Hi, Trilly!
TRILLARILLIA: Hi, guys! I brought you some home made cookies!
SHILREE: Trilly, you're the best.
TRILLY: No, Shilly, you are!
RHYNWA: I love you all!
(Everyone joins hands and dances in a circle until bedtime.)
DOUG: Tell me the truth... are you up for that game?
KRIS: *Khyrisse retches into the gutter* It's a lot nicer down here. The view is MUCH improved. (Gimme a cookie, though. No, they're Trill's, never mind.)
DOUG: But she cooked them espeshwully for you hewoes! Pleeeeease? Pwetty pwease? With special magic sugar on top?
KRIS: *Khyrisse, still retching, staggers to her feet, walks all the way back to Cynystra, and remarries Eric to get away from all this cuteness*
ERIC: Hello, my wittle wuvzum-bundle! Welcome back to our happy happy marriage! Let's go on a honeymoon... I've missed you so vewwy much!
KRIS: (When Eric is cute to Khyrisse, it's all over. Nothing I can do at this point will get me away from it. I suppose Ixhriy has gone all anime and is wearing a baby bonnet?)
KHYRISSE: What an ADORWUBBLE wittle baby boy we have... ohhh, look, hunny-snuggaw, he has your eyes...
DOUG: Okay. I see your point. We stop. Now.
Remember, everyone-- it could be worse.
(From e-mail between Douglass Barre and Kristin Andersen, 5/5/97)
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